I am occasionally (these days, more frequently than occasionally) hit by these intense moments of thoughts, that I am uncertain as to whether to determine them as moments of intense clarity or pure disillusionment.
Weekends are much more appreciated when it feels like I have to work for it. I forgot how short they are in comparison to the rest of the week, after having been in summer-mode for the past month, and even in the past semester, having Mondays and I cant remember if it was Wednesday or Thursday off too. But yes, in essence, weekends are treasured.
Saturday morning was great. It was the first time it had rained so heavily and for so long in the longest time. The feeling of waking up to the sound and the chill of rain, the very heavy kind, and you’re indoors, under the covers, there are few things that are better than that (okay perhaps maybe sitting by the lake with a cup of hot coffee or a warm fuzzy friend, but that’s one of the few). I was supposed to meet sera but I think the rain got us both hiding in our covers, and unwilling to get out of bed, so we postponed the meeting. We were supposed to meet in Holland village, and would get completely drenched anyway. After breakfast with the family, I finally had the time to read for a couple of hours, (with naps in between I think my brain has been mentally exhausted with the influx of information from the past week), before changing up and heading to church.
Meeting up with cell people has been greatly comforting as of late. I came back thinking that I would just turn up for cell, and for service and possibly not make any good friends (I guess singapore always just feels transitory and simply a place of waiting for the next semester, instead of the school semester of activity, and making friends and all that, even though both are the same duration of about three months). I have truly enjoyed being with them though. They went for dinner on Saturday night but I couldn’t join them because of family stuff, but they were still hanging out after I was done. I knew probably that the time I spent with them if I joined them would probably be equivalent to travel time home, but i just needed to be with them somehow even if it was just for a while, before the week started again. gavin told us about his crazy motorcycle experience, and delia her train incident, and we mocked sarah about her imaginary national fencing experience.
Sunday was spent at jubilee day of prayer with them too. It was pretty amazing to see so many believers coming together for a time of prayer and interceding for our nation. There were more than 50000 people all in the sports hub. To see worship songs, like “how great is our God” being flashed on the huge screens was really heartening. There’s something about proclaiming the greatness of God and declaring His goodness that makes it all the more real (it’s real enough already, but there’s a certain power in declaration). The unity of believers is something truly powerful and also empowering in coming together, and worshipping and praying together. As we sang a prayer of blessing over PM Lee, there was a deep sense of God’s peace and His presence so tangible that just came and rested among us.
Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity!
It is like the precious oil on the head,
running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron,
running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon,
which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forever more.
- Psalm 133
After parting with everyone and taking the train back, one person among the probably 40 ish thousand trying to leave from stadium mrt, there was a sense of solace and solitude, but also nostalgia somehow. i wanted to be in chicago suddenly:
- in jones with clare and shelby;
- waiting for the train at chinatown with joseph, sonia, hope, yuka, ryan, junyu and tricia;
- with hope roaming the playground at midnight;
- in the car watching joseph and rachel dancing to "through heaven's eyes";
- by lake james (in wisconsin) with courtney;
- or by lake michigan by myself.
i'll be back really soon though, 6 weeks. till then, it's making the best of singapore because it's ultimately still home, and there's so much to miss:
- times with family, monday and wednesday dinners either watching 118 or more lately, having really good conversations, or just eating a lot, and attempting to exercise once a week together but only mum and dad keep to that i think;
- meeting up with the rest of the moe people, and finally coming back together after close to a year, and still having fun and talking about anything and everything;
- campus camp, realigning back to God and realising the importance of community;
- binglin and her smelly shoes, and visiting aeb colleagues;
- city cycling with gracia;
- cell dinners and cell time and $1 pocky from the petrol kiosk that no one is excited about except me, sarah patronizes me at times so thank you sarah;
- so thankful for alex being back, spontaneous meetups i met her the first day she came back wuhu at acai, and today too. we were supposed to go to botanic gardens to walk, but ended up sitting in starbucks cos the outdoors was too hot. good conversations over iced coffee/green tea latte (they don't have green tea latte in the uk??);
- sitting in my room with sam, and hanging out like we used to;
- simply bread with tanya;
- finally meeting up with people i've intended to meet up with for the longest time, like daphne and darren, and truly properly catching up;
- dinner with delia "i hate thinking"/"but you're a thinker";
- walking around the city with janine (we ended up sitting more than walking and we probably spent more time shoe shopping than the sitting oops);
- spontaneously watching a movie tonight with the family in the living room, and walking out to see the double star (i think it's jupiter and venus but i'm not entirely sure). im really thankful to be able to see stars in the sky despite how bright our city is. though they are faint, they are still very visible if i look closely enough. these are moments that feel as though life stops, and the immensity of the universe consumes me.
i think i am all out of words so i'm going to leave it as that. i hope you had a wonderful monday and that your week will be a wonderful one as well :) find something to be thankful for.
also, my church is hosting a broadway standard musical that is coming in from new york, "His Life" (http://www.trinity.sg/en/hislifemusical/ note: the link opens with sound that autoplays so you may wanna mute your device if you're playing it in a public space). it's definitely going to be exciting! check out the dates and see if you can make it, i would love to have you come join us.
i wish you a wonderful week ahead.
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