feel like it's time to make a list of what i'm thankful for/what makes me glad because i've just been angry or irritable at everything lately (oops sorry ryan ha) and just really tired i guess. maybe it's burnout? i don't know. i've been thinking about how fleeting relationships are - like there are moments where i think i'm going to be friends with someone for a long time, or hope to have them around. and then time passes, and when i turn around, i realise we started taking steps away from each other a while ago, and we both didn't realise it till it's a little too late. maybe life'll have us walk in a circle back to one another - but really, the chances of that happening are very slim. and i just become a lump of sadness for a while, before it passes, and i realise that's just how life is sometimes. people come, and people go. and mum used to tell me that all the time, and still does now. i just pretend i don't hear, and want to hold onto everyone ya know. but i can't. no one likes to be held onto. or obligated to stay.
anw i'm supposed to write about things im thankful for and not relationships i'm sad about lol:
having the motivation to make 2 drawings, and 3 paintings today and yesterday
waking up today and feeling okay
caro treated me to breakfast for lunch on saturday for my birthday
i got to hang out with sam a little and teaching went relatively well, we all made it through so that's all that matters
sitting with shelby by the lake today, the fog was really really beautiful, it felt like a dream
baking with liah and feeling 5 years younger as i sat on my bed and let her do my makeup (she's actually really good), made me miss my sis a little
parents constantly texting me to ask how i am
ryan letting me always annoy him
liz and me complaining about inertia to get any work done together
my blankets
having lindsey in art ed with me
netflix and spotify lately
ok i'm done i don't know anymore there probably is more
i should go to bed
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