tingyan.: cactus is cute

so many things have happened since the last time i wrote on this space:

we drove to canada and back

i turned 21

i made some work that i think im proud of

got through a paper and presentation that literally gave me so much anxiety

worked a lot

slept a little

everything is moving so fast, but also so slow. we had small group yesterday and i asked everyone to talk about two accomplishments, one disappointment for this semester, and one thing they are looking forward to during the summer. i said i think i've slowly become more familiar with what comes more naturally to me in my practice - the ideas that i am working with and the medium in which i feel most comfortable making work in and enjoy; feeling more assured in my calling to teach (though this is debatable at times but more or less) in enjoying saturday afternoons in columbus with a class of really brilliant ones that make me laugh a lot; not having the energy to properly interact and engage with people around me enough; going to the beach, being in the sun and seeing friends and family again.

i think i've been slowly grasping how to take care of myself better to - not in any morbid or self-indulgent sense, but just like i dont know, i've realised that we dont take care of ourselves well enough. like we should. it's hard to be a nice functional human being that interacts well with others when you're not taking care of yourself. like just to eat properly, and sleep properly and to do things that you enjoy, and hang out with people that bring you life, and not suck the life out of you. little things like that i guess.

someone said that my writing sounds like a self-help guide. i laughed. felt slightly insulted. but realised that it's kinda true. idk. tell me your thoughts. maybe.

gonna make a thankful list:

for struggling with failure, and realising failing is a lot of the time the best way to learn (o my god so much self-help someone help me). i've been struggling with screenprinting a lot, and making so many mistakes and spending way too much time in the studio, but i've also learnt so much. i remember at the start of the project i asked liz, "we're gonna print three yards for this test print?" and she was like "you're gonna learn a lot" and i was like okay. liz was right.

for friends that stick it through with me, and go out and eat umami or ramen with me when i say "let's go now"

it's rly hard to be thankful today aha.

for cooking - cooking has been so incredibly therapeutic

and cake too

and frozen grapes

and wrapping my blanket around myself and being warm

and when the sun comes in through the blinds

im just gonna leave a couple photos here