futility:

• the futility of the act of posting a letter when it gets returned
• the futility of walking to the lake to seek comfort but none was to be found. the waves seemed incredibly frustrated, the lakefront uninviting. i stood before the lake feeling like an intruder in a space where i usually sought comfort
• the futility of a walk to clear the mind only to find it much more cluttered
• the futility of romanticising the idea of a walk, when it is just a walk
• the futility of this blogpost

i need to not be here in this headspace