20 feb: im hella stressed out.
21 feb: i just stretched out this window with blogspot to cover all the other open tabs of readings/research i need to get done so i can write somewhat in peace
i typed in notes today to write about things that excite me.
i think the things have been churning about in my mind lately have just been anxious thought after anxious thought, and being preoccupied with how to manage stress and anxiety and emptiness. and it's so exhausting and draining i fall asleep feeling like i had not completed the day well, and wake up feeling like half the day has already gone by. it will get better though, i'm workin on it.
but anyway, back to being excited about things. there's this show that i wanted to see since... saturday the 11th of february, cos erin washington and em kettner are in it, and kayla risko too whom i see when we both go to the youth programs closet to grab supplies for class. and i've seen photos of the show and kayla said it's great. i love going to see art. it just excites me to see what someone else has created/put their heart into ya know. i left my place at 4ish, still flooded with anxiety from the day. i got on the train, and passed the time reading lydia davis' collection of short stories. i think it may be my favourite book. i laughed a lot to myself. she just has a way of writing about the mundane that brings it to life - and also capturing it just as it is too?
as i walked to the gallery, i felt excited. and i hadn't felt that kind of excitement in a while. it was nice.
so that's the explanation of the thought. (the show's amazing in case you were wondering you should check it out it's only up until this weekend i think - on the bank of what river? roman susan gallery)
a list of things that excite me
- car rides with shelby and clare
- car rides in general
- oranges, when i really felt like eating oranges and ryan asked if anyone needed anything from the grocery store, i told him i needed oranges
- going to the lake
- getting a text from a friend i haven't heard from in a while
- getting a call from a friend
- getting a letter in the mail that isn't from the bank or spam
- getting a sincere email
- cute socks
- hot tea
- having a good discussion about a reading
- having a good conversation
- having a mundane conversation that on hindsight was not so mundane
- sewing
- cooking (when i feel like it)
- reading a good phrase/ sentence/ paragraph/ book
- mornings when i wake up feeling okay
- the feeling of completing a reading
- being warm and cosy under the blankets
- wearing flip flops out
- not wearing a coat
- having huge pockets
- running into a friend on the street
- olivia being excited to show me the drawing courtney&mark framed
- watching brooke enjoy her ice-cream
- having time and space for myself
- being around people i love
- summer plans
- microwaveable pop-corn
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