the city lights are too bright
on thoughtful quiet nights like tonight.

it'd be nice to be in my bed
the one that's really mine
the one that's home
where the way mom's hand holds mine will feel like a blanket over me
where dad's coming to check on me
will be like the comforting presence of the pillow beneath my head
where the sister making jokes and doing weird dances with me will bring familiarity like hugging my bolster to fall asleep
where the city streets and lights and buildings and trees will be as familiar as walking to the bathroom in pitch darkness
where words come as easily as making my way back to my bed after
there's that continuously blinking green light of the air-conditioner that bothers me though
but the solution is simple: close my eyes.

if only the solution could be so simple for
the aching in my chest that longs for family
the longing for familiarity and certainty and belonging that courses through my veins
the thirst for home that is seemingly unquenchable.

the city lights are too bright
on thoughtful quiet nights like tonight.