feb/march updates

28 feb

i just felt the need to write about this, even though it was really really nothing huge at all. but it made me glad. these few days have been just focused on working on projects after projects and essays and readings and my brain’s not really processing anything i think, just getting through things one by one. i had an appointment with the writing centre at 11 reached there at 10.50 and sat around waiting for the people there. at 11.05 though, no one was coming out to get me and it seemed like the girl wasn’t well and didn’t come in. this other girl came out and said if her person didn’t come, she’ll take me. i was getting frustrated, just because work’s stressing me out, and i was worrying about how i am going to get everything done over this weekend and another thing not getting through, i was not going to take. but i just breathed and it wasn’t even any big thing anyway. part of me was just resigned to things going wrong and just being extremely exhausted. 

 the girl’s person didn’t turn up in the end and she came out and said “hey, i can take you”. she had this friendly smile and a very comforting presence somehow. her sweater was cute, cream, knee-length, knitted, and it matched her wool scarf real nice. Some people have a presence that is really calming and she was one of those people. I felt like I could finally breathe somehow. Like part of me was relieved to see her even though I did not know her. I do not know how exactly to explain it, but she was godsent at that moment. She introduced herself as elizabeth. She ran through my paper and said it was well written and there wasn't that much that needed to be changed except for keeping the intro concise and more related to the body and adding a short conclusion, which was great cos it was due in an hour. She asked me if I had any questions and I said no I think I'm good. And I thanked her. I asked her if she was a master student. She said she was yeah, in writing. She asked me what year I'm in. I said I was a freshman doing fibers this semester. I think she asked how it's been and I just said exhausting and she said yeah, last semester was crazy for her because she organized new blood and she had to text the artists to assure them about their pieces. I asked her if this semester was better. She said yeah. I thanked her again. She said to have a good day. I said you too.

(Writing this all out now seems really redundant and I wish I were better with my words but I'm just writing it for memory's sake I suppose.) 

 That was the calm of my day yesterday :)

4 mar

how is it march already. school's been difficult, i think the weather affects me a lot. but i've been trying to keep track of the good days, and let the bad days pass. obviously that hasn't been working out cos i haven't been keeping track of both. haha. but in any case. let's do highlights. i can't remember what order these were in so we're just going to go in a haphazard manner. 

- visiting liz's show with clare and shelby

i wanted to go see liz's piece in a group show that she had. clare and shelby came with me. i hadn't hung out with shelby much at all, except when i intrude into their room and force her to have a conversation with me and insist on giving her a hug hahaha. the pieces were really good and we enjoyed the show. the best part though, was going to stan's afterwards. shelby and i got some special flavoured coffees that they had, and we all had donuts. it was so good. stan's is the best. it was nice just chilling and hanging out and shelby and clare are some of the nicest people ever. 

- dropped by columbia college one night after dinner to hang out with esther

i didn't know esther that well then, not that i do now, but definitely better. gwen and devy were there too. the three of us sat in a booth, and just hung out. it was really comfortable, with singlish all around. it's weird how you can find bits and pieces of home around you. i felt in that moment that i was back home in sg. only when a huge group of guys behind us started talking really loudly, it hit me that we were in america. i remember feeling like that too, after leaving the conference in boston. esther is one of the most genuine, adventurous, easy going people i've met. i feel like she's so excited about life and so many things around her, it makes me want to be as adventurous too. it's been amazing having her over and i'm definitely going to miss her when she goes home. 

- lunch with taylor

i got to know taylor one of the morning prayer mornings. both of us did not know that we were meeting for iv morning prayer and just sat at the two ends of the ugly purple couches at sharp, waiting for others to turn up. at some point, taylor came over and asked if i was there for morning prayer and i was like yeah! i havent seen you at iv before. we got to know each other a bit and prayed together. we met for lunch at wildberry a wednesday or two ago i can't remember. and it was just really nice getting to hear each others' stories, about childhood, school, and other things i can't remember the specifics of. also, she ordered chicken and waffles, which i have to get the next time i'm up for something savoury. 

- late night chinatown dinners

i had a gallery shift one of the wednesdays from 8-10 and asked the guys if they wanted to head to chinatown afterwards. they were up for it. we asked a couple of others too. and at 10 we set off to the great land of chinatown. we went to chi town cafe. sonia ordered this amazing mango dessert that was super similar to those at home or in hongkong, joseph and i shared one even though we were so insanely full. dessert is always a different compartment is it not? nearing 12, joseph suggested that we toast to the new day. we started counting down at 10 seconds to 12... and screamed 'happy new day!' and clanked our plastic cups of tea and laughed. 

headed to chinatown with joseph one of the nights that i just wanted to get out of the dorms. i haven't been cooking a lot lately, i don't really know why. we went to this restaurant that tricia, joanie and me went to somewhere last semester. they have really good noodles and asian beverages. we ordered way way way too much. each of us got a bowl of noodles. each bowl is about twice the size of my face. and my face is pretty big. we got a large bowl of hot and sour soup, and an order of xlb. the hot and sour soup was so so so good. the xlb were too sweet. the noodles were great. and omg the honey lemon was the best. i haven't had that in a while, and it being cold outside made the hot honey lemon go down really really well. after eating halfway, joseph was like "actually i was going to take up your offer to share a bowl of noodles". great joseph. let's send a bowl back right now. we just ending up taking both our bowls of noodles to go. i'm always thankful for joseph. we only got to know each other better on the very very long plane ride back. even though i always complain about having to spend a full 24 hours with him, i never mean it. i always feel like he's the older brother i never had (i haven't told him this he may get freaked out lol but too bad it's true). 

- skype sessions with sam

skyping sam has been really really nice. i don't have a lot to say about it except that i'm so thankful for her, we've been friends for coming to 12 years, since we were 8. and i know there are periods that i wasn't the best of the friend i could be and i regret those moments all the time. but i'm really thankful that we understand each other the way we do, and can be there for each other despite being 5 hours away from each other :)

- ice skating with the gang

the skating ribbon's closing this weekend and joseph wanted to go skate on it before it did. so many of us went, it was crazy. devy gwen esther daphne hope junyu ryan joseph tricia sonia kristina and me. it was so much fun. ice skating around a circuit is amazing haha. i did different laps with different people and got to have really good conversations which always makes me happy. hope and me had a mini dance party on the ice. we tried to get junyu to join us. he did not bad too. joseph pushed me and sonia on the ice and he skated super fast. it was so exhilarating, we screamed a lot. the two hours passed by really quick in amazing company. a couple of us took a walk to va piano's for a late dinner. joseph and ryan ran into the field of snow at millennium park and ryan made snow angels and tackled each other. sonia started running at weird intervals. she would run away and then run back. dinner was good. then we headed back to the dorms. but it was so cold and we wanted to get there fast. so we started running, coats and all. we would run a block and rest and run another block. it was an amazing night.

- cleaning up with tricia and breakfast with lou, hope and tricia

i had this brilliant plan to clean up our room with an incentive. our room had gotten so so horribly dirty like it was almost not liveable but because we are pigs it's really more or less fine and both of us agreed that we could probably go another month without a problem. but for hygiene purposes, it was necessary. i said we would wake up at 8 clean up for 2 hours, then reward ourselves with a good breakfast. mondays are breakfast days with hope, and now lou too, so i just decided the four of us should all go together. i did the bathroom and tricia did the kitchen. and wow its so amazingly clean now, no one would believe that tri and i actually live in those areas. the main area of the room though, i mean we didn't have time. so... till the next breakfast incentive hahhaha. the four of us went to wildberry. wildberry breakfasts are insanely huge. i tried their mint mocha and it's so so so good. good food is always good. i've been eating way too much.

- devotions that turned into worship night with hope

hope and i do devotions every tuesday night. yesterday was tuesday night, but i was extremely exhausted and didn't feel like talking about anything. i think hope too? i think she couldve talked if i wanted to but i was tired. i brought my guitar down and was just strumming stuff. and started singing some songs, and by the time we knew it, we were each picking songs and going through them. i think we did at least 5 or 6. ryan and junyu joined us here and there. and joseph at the last bit. but it was nice. i felt God's presence just being in the room and a sense of peace, and the lifting of burdens and some sort of liberation which was really good after a tough week. have i mentioned? i'm immensely thankful.

- family

through everything, just having texts from mum and dad coming in each day, making sure that i'm awake. answering my facetime audio calls when i'm panicking about something, telling me which pills to take when i'm sick, telling me about the many loheis. the sister telling me about school, sending me sweet emails. i can't wait for may when we can all be together again!

i'm missing out a lot of things. i wish i could write about everything. there's so much of me that wants to remember every moment that was good and amazing, but i don't think i have the capacity to write everything down. i'd spend more time writing than living. but these moments will come to me when they do. and maybe i'll write them down then. but i just wanted to say that God has been so faithful and present throughout everything. I know He goes before me and is with me. sitting down to pray, i feel His presence come and fill the parts of me that are empty, soothe the parts of me that are hurt, fix the parts of me that are broken. i'm still a work in progress, and will be for a long time. but if my God is for me, who can be against me?

have a wonderful week ahead everyone :)