printmaking and God speaking in weird ways

thinking about purpose a little. wanted to do some printmaking and needed - palette knife, brayer, plastic plate to roll out ink on, ink, carving tools and linoleum. i looked all around and somehow couldn't find my knife, and decided to use a shitty ruler instead. also chose to use an old, poorer quality roller cos it was more within my reach than the one i brought back from chicago. the subpar tools worked functionally, the ruler was fine, just kinda annoying to stick into the ink, and the brayer was functional, but didn't roll the best. after making a few prints, i got a little frustrated, and switched out the brayer to the better one, that helped so much more. i went down for a break after more printing, and found my palette knife downstairs. i asked mom why it was there and she said dad used it to open letters. i laughed. dad said at least it was useful while i was away. i picked it up and found the sticky stuff on envelopes on it. i knew how to clean that off cos of school - vegetable oil got it off real easy. 

it made me think about purpose - like how even though some tools are created for specific purposes, the maker chooses the most available ones. but if there are more suitable tools, they are preferred. or how some tools are used wrongly, but the maker finds it, cleans it up and sets it back on its path. 

hm.

wherever you are, be all there.

this new year's eve i'm here with mum and dad. we watch two episodes of elementary, leaving me anxious but invigorated. we lay around watching old family videos and laughing: nostalgia and some sort of disbelief at how much we have grown  how much time has passed.

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six of us sit around the dining room table chatting as if no time has passed. the content of our conversation reveals how some of us hadn't seen others in 5 years, but laughter, jokes, heartfelt conversation fill the years we'd missed out on in between. i laugh as janine takes forever to understand that the secret santa generator had a glitch and our secret santa was the same person we were supposed to buy gifts for. we ask sherbabes to tag us on instagram so we can all get instafamous like her. sam takes forever to decide on her three moves for monodeal. nell asks how long alcohol takes to wear off. crystal constantly stirs shit, but adds much laughter to the night. we blow out candles and cut the cake mom ordered for us, to celebrate all our 21st birthdays together is a blessing - i am immensely thankful.

as i drop each of them off, and say goodbye, till next time, i am grateful, for friendships made and pleasures shared. 

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the doorbell rings a second time. fayth, sarry and me look sheepishly at each other and snigger. fayth tells sarry to get the door. sarry says it's weird cos it's delia's place. delia realises that this is what we were discussing in a (not so) discrete manner an hour earlier and gets up to open the door. i pay the cake guy and we make delia go into her bedroom for a bit. i ransack the utensils drawer to find candles and a lighter, i find the candles but not the lighter and shout to ask delia where the lighter is. delia has to stay in her bedroom for quite a while. sarry, fayth and me laugh. we ask her to come out and sing happy birthday. it's not quite a surprise but it will have to do. she blows out her candle, and we try to take a group photo, balancing my phone on self-timer on the water jug. we spend close to five hours at her place, catching up and sharing life, and listening to fayth praising Jesus every 5 minutes. i am thankful. 

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i call courtney, it's 1am for me, and 11am the day before for her. we are halfway across the world from each other, but it doesn't seem like it when i hear her voice over the phone. she tells me about her christmas, and i tell her about mine. i ask if she got any good gifts, she did, and i tell her about how dad asked me to go and look for a watch for myself as his present to me even though he'd already gotten me one. we talk about how time is weird, and that i would be halfway through the first day of 2017, when it hits midnight in the states. two years ago, i never thought i'd meet someone who knows me the way she does, and here i am talking with her across more than 9000 miles. i prayed for the building of close friendships two years ago, He is so faithful. i am thankful.

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i look out of the glass walls. i see faces of anticipation for friends or loved ones that have been out of town. i don't see familiar faces. i text dad that i had just collected my luggage, and if i should wait inside. just as i sent the text, i see three of them briskwalking. i laugh, and start pushing my cart out of the glass doors. i run towards them and give each of them a hug. i am home again. i quickly fall back into the routine of family meals, going places together, being forced by dad and mum to wake up early to take a 3 hour hike. but then having prawn mee to look forward to after makes up for it. it's always the weird in-between of a slight foreignness yet feeling as though i had never left. there aren't that many days left in this hot and humid but delicious city, but i'm treasuring each one (and also trying to squeeze in as many meals as possible. i feel like it's just all one big meal that hasn't ceased from the moment i stepped foot on singapore land). i am so blessed.

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it's just another day, another sunday - but we countdown, we hope, we desire new chances - to do things better, be better, love more, dream bigger, hope - isn't it about hope? the hope to start anew, to breathe and put things behind - embrace the new: second chances. 

happy 2017, i wish you well: much love, peace and fullness of joy.