was clearing out my flatfiles in the print studio today, and packing up my locker. i sat on the floor, attempting to neaten things up, and throw out things i dont need. the weird feeling, of anticipating the end and knowing that it is near came upon me - like relief and a breath, but also, sentimentality, bittersweetness. i know that it will pass, and soon it'll just be the start of spring, and then the craziness that is the middle of the semester, then another end will come again. these cyclical things, yet i am always surprised, and caught offguard by my emotions.

this semester was special though. with a lot of moments that were divine, undeniably so, and i am ever so thankful.

dear child, put down your sword, fight no more.

freedom from striving, from feeling the need to prove myself to everybody, the simplicity of things and people falling into place without me being conscious of it, till i was stopped for a moment today, just a second of stillness and quiet, and His voice louder than any of the voices in my head. i pray stillness and peace for you too.

anticipation/ of home. of flying. of leaving. of escape.

escape in sleep
escape through overworking
escape through artmaking

you can't escape from self though, you can't i've tried